About the self-steem
In psychology they call it “perceived self-efficacy”, or the awareness of being (not being) able to cope with the personal and social situations that life puts before us. Ordinary people call it “self-esteem” and the meaning is roughly the same. It is said that a person has self-esteem when, faced with the challenges of life (all the challenges not only those that represent the common sense of this term) he feels he can do it and moves in this direction, towards the solution of his problem, with self-awareness and self-respect. On the other hand, when self-esteem is lacking, this whole castle collapses. It is not a question of seeing yourself beautiful and strong; self-esteem is the hand of cards that we feel we have in the hand of the game of life. Those without self-esteem will always tend to think that he is playing the game of life with the worst cards. Those who have self-esteem do not think they have the best cards, they simply strive to make the best use of what they have. A subtle difference to understand but fundamental.
But how does this blessed self-esteem arise? Psychology always says that it comes from the relationship we had with our parents. When we talk about self-esteem, whether it is there or not, we do nothing but put ourselves in front of a mirror in which we do not find our gaze reflected but that of our parents, and not everyone is a pleasant flashback.
Those in childhood who found themselves living with absent, traumatizing, abusive parents or, on the contrary, with high expectations of us, will grow up without self-esteem. In short: if as a child at home they always told you that “you are worth nothing”, you can also become the Head of State but, looking in the mirror, you will end up seeing an empty image. And bear in mind that this lack of self-esteem does not necessarily manifest itself in the character aspects. You could in fact appear around as full of you, bold and well centered in your role, but then, this lack of self-esteem could come out, for example, in your romantic relationships where, easily, you would risk being a total landslide, between the fear of abandonment and the tendency to believe that you are never enough for the other or the other.
In short, self-esteem, when it is lacking (but also when it is too much to tell the truth), can create great disasters. However, there are precise indicators that can tell you if you, or a person next to you, suffers from low self-esteem. Which ones are they? They are indicators such as chronic indecision, anxiety, the tendency to bully or compete with others, or vice versa to please them always and in any case.
The lack of self-esteem creates voids to lose, souls who cannot find their place in the world and, even when they have found it, for commitment or luck, they will easily lose it, self-sabotaging, convinced that what they have they do not deserve , it’s not for them, because they, as mentioned before, are never enough. And in this cyclical defeat, you will hear the echo, from the past, of the phrases with which careless parents burned the humus on which the personality of their son or daughter should have developed. Instead they, the parents, with their inability and their unresolved, did nothing else even piss on this humus, from which it will be a miracle to be able to make something good come out.
But here comes the beauty: as mentioned, it takes a miracle to give birth to something good from a personality lacking self-esteem. “Miracle” means two things: it is difficult but it is possible. Cabbage! So is it possible to reverse the course of an existence marked by the worm of disdain? Yes, it is possible and there is no maximum time within which you can start. How? It’s very simple. Low self-esteem what is it? The feeling of not being up to par with the situations that life gives us the opportunity to experience, even the beautiful ones. So how can we break this cliché? In a simple and natural way, that is, by living things. Taking up the challenges that life puts before us, entering its arena and, fighting, as it comes to us, even if no one has taught us to do so. What the person lacking in self-esteem does not know is that even people with high self-esteem do not have the manual of life, the user guide. Nobody has it. And when you understand this, when you understand that we are all on the same starting line, there you can really experience your “start”, like an athlete who launches himself towards the 100-meter finish line. It is when you find the courage to launch yourself into life and its challenges that you break the glass of disdain that previously surrounded you. It doesn’t all break together, of course. It takes time. But we have to start somewhere. We must act, we must live the good and the bad of life by understanding that mistakes are part of everyone’s path, not just those with low self-esteem.
But we have to start somewhere. We must act, we must live the good and the bad of life by understanding that mistakes are part of everyone’s path, not just those with low self-esteem. And we must begin to love each other, that good that perhaps we did not receive as children as we should and wanted, but that we can give ourselves even now, with a simple caress, warm and tender, with a true heart, which by looking in the mirror we make crawl on ours. same skin. They will be chills!